In The Cemetery
by Maren
Summary: Buffy and Giles have a bonding moment


Buffy Summers strayed between the headstones in a local cemetery. The night was dark and forbearing, yet the girl hummed to herself lightheartedly. Her fingers ran over the gravestones, touching the cool stone. Her steps were quick and defiant. She knew what she was doing.

Buffy came to a stop before a certain grave. The earth covering it was fresh and damp. Standing before it, she knelt down and read the inscription.

Danny Patterson

Beloved Son

1983-1999

Though Gone,

Not Forgotten

Buffy bit her lip silently. I'm sorry Danny, she thought. Sorry I wasn't there to save you. She let her head hang for a moment, the light mood she had had moments before, gone now. Instead, she felt a tremendous weight in her heart. Guilt tore at her soul. She always felt like this when something like this happened. Always felt like she had failed.

"You can't be there to save all of them." A soft voice came from behind her.

Buffy glanced up, momentarily forgetting that someone else had come with her. "Giles." She said, looking at him for a moment, then turning her gaze back to the grave. "I know." She said. "But that doesn't make it any easier." 

"No one said being the Slayer was easy Buffy." Giles said in reply. "In fact, many people have said quite the opposite." The Watcher looked down upon his Slayer, an immense sadness overcoming him. He had become protective of this girl, this Slayer. He looked at her as if she were almost his own daughter now. He hated seeing her like this. He wanted to shield her from the unpleasantness, the guilt. But there was nothing he could do. He couldn't shield her from anything if he wanted her to survive. 

Many people don't know what they're talking about, Buffy thought bitterly. How many of those people were actually Slayers, actually doing the slaying, seeing the people die, because they hadn't gotten to the victims in time to save them. Had been forced to slay the victims once the demon took over inside of them. Buffy would have bet anything it wasn't a Slayer who said that. Buffy had learned during her few years as the Chosen One that while one thought many things, one didn't voice the deepest, darkest fears and worries that one felt. Oh sure, Buffy joked with Willow and Xander about how she hated her 'job', but she doubted that either one of them really truly knew how she felt about it. It was almost a paradox, her feelings. She loved it, and hated it as well. She couldn't explain it, she just did. Buffy stood up slowly. "Yeah, slaying is defiantly of the non-easy." She agreed with Giles.

Buffy turned her gaze to Giles. If anyone could come close to understanding how she felt, and what she dealt with every day, it was her Watcher. He had been trained since he was a young boy. He had known about vampires and demons before Buffy had known about Sesame Street. He had had to deal with many things in his time, and Buffy looked up to him because of that. Like her, he hadn't volunteered, he had been chosen as well. Buffy hardly ever stopped to think how hard things had been on her Watcher, but she was now, and it saddened her that she hadn't thought about it earlier. 

Giles placed a hand on her shoulder, still feeling hesitant to showing her affection. Buffy has a father, he told himself. She doesn't need another. But inside, he knew that to be untrue. Buffy had a father, but he wasn't really a father. Secretly, Giles felt that the man didn't deserve a daughter like Buffy. He certainly didn't appreciate her qualities and quirks. Giles liked to think he was a father figure to Buffy. And no matter what the council told him, Giles felt the father-daughter bond with her. It was something Giles wouldn't give up for the world.

As Giles put his hand on her shoulder, Buffy couldn't contain the tears anymore. She started to cry, burying her head in his chest, clinging to her Watcher, the father she never had, and just sobbed. Buffy had never allowed herself to cry in front of him before. Crying was being weak, and she had always felt the need to be strong around him and her friends. So show them all that she could handle it. She was the Slayer after all. But sometimes, some things were too much for a Slayer to handle. Buffy had been feeling like she was balancing on the edge for a long time now, and if she fell, there would be no one to catch her. But now she knew that there was someone, who would catch her if she ever fell. Someone she could count on. And so she leaned against him, crying over the loss of one person, one soul, when there were so many to cry about.

Giles, a bit surprised at her outburst in tears, just wrapped his arms around her and let her cry. It was good for her. She needed to vent the strong emotions that she felt and dealt with day to day. In his opinion, Buffy didn't cry enough. Not everyone could be strong all the time.

After what seemed like a very long time, Buffy raised her head and started at the grave. "Looks like he isn't going to rise tonight." She said, glancing at the sky. Early morning. He would have risen by now if he was going to that night.

Giles raised his arm and squinted at his watch, trying to see the time in the dark. "It's late, I agree. You should go home." He smiled down at her. "School tomorrow.

Buffy scowled at the thought and grumbled to herself. "School equals badness." She said, looking at the grave once more. Suddenly, the earth trembled, and then moved, as a body slowly raised itself from the earth.

"I guess I was wrong." She said, as she whipped out her stake. The fight was short. The vampire never had a chance. It was newborn and didn't know how to fight properly yet.

After the dusting of the vamp, Buffy turned to her Watcher again. "See?" She cried out, pain flashing in her eyes. "I almost went home! He would of risen and there would have been no one here to stop him, and he would of gone and killed people." She said, ready to burst into tears again.

Giles was silent a moment. Then, he went to her and rested both his hands on her shoulders this time. "Buffy." He said. "You are the Slayer. The Chosen One. One. You are one person who can not be everywhere at one time to save everybody who needs saving. There are going to be times you aren't there, and times that you will. It's all the roll of chance Buffy. There's no telling whom you will save or whom you won't get the chance to. I know you feel guilty, that's only natural. But you mustn't keep beating yourself up for that." He took a breath. "I'm not going to let you." Smiling gently at her, he turned her around, and they started to walk away from the grave, through the cemetery.

Buffy just nodded, still feeling the guilt. Nothing Giles could say would ever relive her of it, but she had to admit that his words had comforted her a little bit. Looking up at him, she smiled. "Thank you Giles." She said softly. "For being there for me." She would never be able to express in words what she felt in her heart, but she knew that somehow, he knew what she meant. 


End file.
